The Scenic Route: Day 4

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176 days later

Plus one week

I really had no particular goal in mind when I started doing push-ups.

I decided to take a break because my shoulder hurt.

One of the things that has helped me this last week is revisiting the Marvel Cinematic Universe, starting with Iron-Man, to prep for Avengers:Infinity War coming out next month.

I have nothing clever to say today.

I can feel the tendrils of self-doubt burrowing through me.

I have nothing to say.

But I’m going to post it anyway.

On the 4th or 5th day of push-ups, way back in late September 2017, I thought of giving up. 

I switched to writing for my Blog, because it was a way of exercising my writing muscles. It challenges me to be creative and it’s not heavily promoted on FB so I can’t really look for likes and encouragement. I have to treat it as if no one is reading it. I want to learn to wean myself off the like addiction of social media, especially Facebook.

Blogging is the new push-ups.

I can check google analytics to see if people are actually clicking on the article, but I don’t get the immediate satisfaction of Facebook likes and comments. 

I am a recovering Facebook addict. There, I said it.

I crave “likes”, like Meth-heads crave Meth. For someone with low self-esteem, like me, and suffers from anxiety, like me, the immediacy of judgement is intoxicating. Likes and/or comments from people I admire or look up to, cause an endorphin volcano in my mind. Conversely, a lack of “likes” spirals me out in a whirlpool of depression. 

I am not proud of this.

There are plenty of articles going around about how to reduce the amount of tracking and data-mining FB can do to you. I plan on reading one sometime. 

Here is what I did to reduce my FB addiction.

I deleted it from my phone and my tablet. 

I can always log in to FB with a browser, but I found that not getting the constant updates was freeing. 

Other benefits include, better battery life, less tracking, more peace, and less comparing my life to everyone else’s. 

Try it.

© 2014